Pain Patches and Supplements

Just seconds after hitting the publish button on my latest fibromalgia article, I realized that I forgot a whole section of treatment.

Here is a link to that article :

https://momsorganicbohofoodfun.com/2016/06/09/alternative-modes-of-treatment-for-fibro-and-dgs-piriformissciatica-pain/

I am currently in this mode of treatment myself and I am still exploring the options for both supplements and Transdermal pain patches, so this is in no way a complete list of all the Fibromalgia options for both. This list is merely my own that I have come up with in the last few weeks for reason of helping my own pain and combating my own symptoms.

I have not completely finished compiling this list and I am adding to it each day, and only trying to find the highest potency.

Pain Patches aka Herbal Transdermal Medicine

Wholistic patches:

CBD patches:

10 mg

http://www.wellspringcbd.com/marys-nutritionals-cbd-patches

15-30mg

http://rx-green.com/true-cbd-transdermal-patches/?age-verified=fb76c61a65

Chinese Patches aka Pastes

http://www.modernherbshop.com/Plasters_and_Patches_for_Pain_Relief_s/51.htm

http://www.golden-sunshine.com/hpatchproducts.html

http://breakingmuscle.com/health-medicine/product-review-pain-terminator-herbal-patch

 

Pain/Joint Supplement-Drink links

https://www.healthy.co.nz/product/4034-back-pain-control.html

https://www.standardprocess.com/Body-Systems/Essential-Support-for-Musculoskeletal-Health#.V1nX9_krLic

http://www.iherb.com/http://www.vitaminworld.com/joint-soother/joint-soother-advanced-powder-0070052750.html?scid=25842

http://www.illpumpyouup.com/universal/animal-flex.htm

Best Joint Support Vitamins for 2016 — Healthy Joints and Bones

here is a link to the supplement I already take for my pain;

http://www.terrynaturallyvitamins.com/curamin/

can also be found in powder form here;

http://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/curamin-powder-TN60gr-p-terry-naturally.html?gclid=CIPh4qHLnM0CFZNafgod1k8BIg

 

 

Calcium and D supplements-Drinks

https://www.amazon.com/Upcal-D-20-oz-Canister/dp/B009R2IJLE/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?ie=UTF8&dpID=41s7438j6TL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL100_SR100%2C100_&refRID=0NEKCP2M7050RT2MJPTY&ref_=pd_aw_sim_121_1

https://www.amazon.com/Cal-EZ-Calcium-Vitamin-Supplement-Tasteless/dp/B00FGD5QGO/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?ie=UTF8&pc_redir=T1

Enzyme and Probiotic Support Drinks

http://blackmp.tech/product/blackmp-living-powder/?ref=8&campaign=fb1

Alternative Modes of Treatment for Fibro and (DGS) Piriformis/Sciatica Pain

Today I am going to write about alternative modes of therapy for back and buttocks pain, also referred to as Fibromalgia and sciatica pain. I will explain some symptoms and treatments.

I am not a doctor, I am not trying to play one on the internet. I am only finding useful information ie, tools and links explaining the things that have happened to my body and pain I go through on a daily basis. I am only sharing this information for two purposes, to organize the links that I have found and to help anyone else that suffers the same pain that I do.

I am not certified as anything. I am only a really good internet searcher and have dedicated the last 3 weeks to finding out what was happening in my body and thankfully saved as many links as I could. Now that my bookmarks are flooded with medical journals and things, I need to clear it out and categorize everything. As most of these alternative modes are new to me, I cannot review them individually.

This post is purely informational and not opinion on these modes of therapy. I have no idea what any of these modes feel like or cost in a doctors office, which is why most of these modes of therapy I have found a home unit that is portable for. Not saying that I am going to go out and shock myself without studying how to do it, but the portable machines are affordable and cheaper then some medical procedures such as back surgery.

I am not under the care of a pain doctor right now, and I have used medical treatments in the past, like trigger point injections and chiropractic work to manage my pain. Since I do not have either one of those treatments available right now, I am researching alternative modes of reconstructing my back and managing my Fibromalgia and sciatica pain. I should also note that I have the cheapest home TENS unit and it seems to work well to block the pain, that is why there is more TENS links then the other treatments. I have written only a little about my pain, but it is a huge part of my life.

Here is some basic information on Fibromalgia, after that I will explain the sciatica nerve pain.

http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/condition/fibromyalgia

http://www.back.com/back-pain/conditions/sciatica-pain-treatment/

First off, here is an explanation for increased pain in the hip region and pelvic area. I have been experiencing severe sciatica pain that is caught up in the buttocks muscles and shoots down my legs, most people would say this as sciatica pain, but with a few more symptoms involved like pain when getting up and down and pain when sitting down, it can be seen as Piriformis Syndrome.

Here are some definitive links on Piriformis Syndrome. Also called DGS (Deep Gluteal Syndrome),these are the links that I have saved because they have the most information.

http://drnickcampos.com/health-newsletter/PiriformisSyndrome.html

http://jaoa.org/article.aspx?articleid=2093614

http://www.arthroscopyjournal.org/article/S0749-8063(10)00687-0/fulltext

This next article in particular will explain it if you need good pictures to see.

http://www.houstonmethodist.org/orthopedics/where-does-it-hurt/lower-back/piriformis-syndrome/

Here are some symptoms of Piriformis Sydrome.

m_657fig3

Here are some alternative resources for treatments for both Fibromalgia and Piriformis Syndrome. I will include alternative home machines later. Some of the links will be doubles as they have both symptom and treatment information.

http://www.theherbspecialist.com/fibromyalgia.html

http://www.back.com/back-pain/conditions/sciatica-pain-treatment/

http://www.houstonmethodist.org/orthopedics/where-does-it-hurt/lower-back/piriformis-syndrome/

Here are some more informational and product links on individual therapies.

I would myself like to try them in the order listed from top to bottom until one treatment will work. I hope I do not have to go all the way down the list to feel better.

Alternative modes of Treatment; Fibromalgia with Piriformis Syndrome

Wholistic treatment;

http://www.acupunctureintegrated.com/articles/piriformis-syndrome

http://www.theherbspecialist.com/fibromyalgia.html

Physical therapy aka stretches

http://www.lgmedsupply.com/elin.html

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KHKX9P6?psc=1

http://www.miraclestretch.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Posture-Pump%C2%AE-PENTAVEC%C2%AE-Model-2500/dp/B00E81T04Y/ref=pd_sim_121_3?ie=UTF8&dpID=51CTqkQFimL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=0ZJFEM40R3C541E0G237

Heat therapy

http://www.amazon.com/SPECIAL-TherMedic-PW150L-infrared-Function/dp/B00P7CPKDI/ref=pd_sim_121_7?ie=UTF8&dpID=51VlE6NBvaL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=18D5SZMWXQ4Y73BBGMKE

Ultrasound aka high frequency sound waves

http://www.electrotherapy.org/modality/ultrasound-dose-calculation

Light-Laser therapy

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004QECAU4?psc=1

Electrotherapy, aka Shockwave

http://www.lgmedsupply.com/elin.html

http://www.aofas.org/footcaremd/treatments/Pages/Extracorporeal-Shock-Wave-Therapy.aspx

This next link is very informational if you need to understand all the modes of shock therapy;

http://www.electrotherapy.org/modality/shockwave-therapies-

-Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS)60-200 Hz

-EMS

-Interferential

-Microcurrent

-Russian

Devices I am sharing are all different but some combine all 4 modes of therapy or more

Do note that the large medical grade units are over 4,000$ in the USA and less in other countries.

I have tried to find units that cover every electrotherapy mode, that are not 4,000, easy to read and use on yourself at home.

Here are some affordable links for multi-use electrotherapy home units;

http://www.amazon.com/Balego%C2%AE-7200-Twenty-Therapy-System/dp/B019P6ZAH2/ref=pd_sbs_121_20?ie=UTF8&dpID=418CNxwqKzL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=199ASN3MXW76TQG4S081

http://www.amazon.com/Slendertone-ReVive-Muscle-Conditioner-Stimulator/dp/B011EDYF3O/ref=pd_sbs_121_6?ie=UTF8&dpID=417bZ0pyzCL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=01J16XB06MT1NX1W64BQ

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00USXKC52?psc=1

https://www.sissel.ch/images/ch/extra/110_200_produktbeschrieb_ut1032.pdf

http://www.medicalproductsonline.org/intensity-combo.html?utm_source=shoppingdotcom&utm_medium=ppc

http://www.medicalproductsonline.org/mpo-tens-8800.html?utm_source=shoppingdotcom&utm_medium=ppc

http://www.caicorporation.com/Electro-Acupuncture-6805-3-_p_1083.html

I think from them all I like the look of this one the best:

http://www.ibramed.com.br/public/produto/Physical-Rehabilitation/Neurodyn-Aussie-Sport

the 4,000 $ units are here btw.

http://medneeds.com/equipment-category/new-equipment/electrotherapy-new-equipment/

Again, I do not know much about these units except what I have learned on the internet, but I do know how long it took me to find them, and honestly I would hope that no one would ever have to search as long as I did, so I am glad I could put them together.

I am also going to share some images that I have found to be really helpful in locating some of the symptoms in those beginning links.

If you click them you can enlarge them.

06-4 Radiculopathy spinal-nerve-distribution-s

 

If all that was too scientific here is a small short youtube video from the PiriStretch company that explains a whole lot.

 

Introduction to my Herbal Education

My personal experience with herbs is exactly that, personal. I hesitate to share my experience with what I have learned and tried because everybody’s experience could be different than mine. I have a very high tolerance for some herbs, like say; a cup of chamomile tea for me, doesn’t do much in way of calming me down, but adding more ingredients to it seems to do the trick. Although for some chamomile tea could be all they could need to have a better nights sleep.

So in no way in any form am I a certified doctor or herbalist yet,nor am I in any way qualified to diagnose or prescribe anything; I have just some experience with some herbs and so much experience that I need to write it all down in a organized fashion to remember it all.

That saying some herbs in my opinion are mild and some are extreme. I have used them for different things for myself for many years and am now confident in herbs enough to have my family be healed by them as well. I have only a limited handful of experience with herbs and am no way educated in the wide realm of them all and all their many uses.

I have studied western herbal medicine for only about 5 years along with being a mother and a wife and trying to be healthy in both. I have realized that food is powerful medicine and herbs are powerful medicine as well. I have shifted my families eating practices for the last 5 ½ years in the more organic and fresh direction and at the same time come to realize that everything we do and put into our bodies affects it.

That being said in the same amount of time that I have shifted our eating I have tried to make my family healthy by giving them food and herbs that would make us healthier people. I actually have been working with fresh herbs from the farmers market like burdock root, nettles, lemon balm and sorrel since 2012. I am glad to say that I am returning to trying to always have herbal remedies on hand and in a more involved way now that I am becoming more educated in herbs.

I have been making tea brew since then as well. I have started a goal of making a great sleepytime brew for myself since 2012 and have been adding ingredients to it ever since. I have chronic insomnia and only recently have asked big pharma doctors with help with it. I have been combating my insomnia with herbs for about 6 years, and glad to say that I now always have the best and strongest herbal medicine on hand to combat it.

Ever since I had my son 6 years ago, I have been working on more transdermal medicine aka salves, learning about how to heal his toddler excema naturally was my goal and we combated it with homemade salve from flowers and leaves that we grew ourselves. Ever since I have been making my own herbal salves and they all have different uses.

I have posted previous blogs on how to  make herbal salves here.

https://momsorganicbohofoodfun.com/2016/04/16/calendula-salve/

https://momsorganicbohofoodfun.com/2015/06/30/healing-skin-salve-with-beeswax/

 

I also have chronic back pain, inflammation, and nerve problems so I have been using herbs to combat those problems as well.

Most recently I have enrolled in an online herbal remedies course from my online wellness idol, @wellnessmama and I am very happy to have more recipes for my home apothocary coming from her as well. I like adding my favorite herbs to her recipes and reading about how other home herbalist make things as well.

Here is a picture of the Herbal books I have studied over the last 6-8 years, I have absorbed so much information that it is really hard to catalog everything I have learned into only 1-2 blogs, I am sure I will have to write several blogs to share all the things I have learned about certain remedies and solutions to things, but to start I will start a list here of the herbs I have alot-little experience with and the ones I am learning about now.

20160519_185836

In the last couple weeks I have also been trying to combat my husbands chronic asthma and my sons chronic constipation, so I have little experience those herbs but I am learning more each day.

Herbs for Insomnia:

Chamomile (mild)

Passion Flower (mild)

Skullcap (strong)

Valerian (extreme)

Kava kava (extreme)

Lemon balm (mild)

Herbs for Inflammation

Turmeric (mild-strong depending on dose)

White Willow Bark (mild-strong depending on dose)

Bosweilla (strong)

cayanne pepper (strong depending on dose)

Arnica (mild to strong depending on dose)

Calendula (mild)

Herbs for Nerve pain

Kava Kava (extreme)

Skullcap (mild)

Herbs for Lung help

Lobelia (strong)

Mullien (strong)

Elcampane (mild)

Herbs for constipation

Slippery Elm (mild)

Marshmallow Root(mild to strong)

Psyllium Husk( strong)

Here are my other blogs on herbs that I have written so far.

https://momsorganicbohofoodfun.com/2015/04/30/my-favorite-dried-herbs-and-how-to-clean-rose-hips/

https://momsorganicbohofoodfun.com/2015/05/03/turmeric-for-good-health-and-inflammation/

https://momsorganicbohofoodfun.com/2015/04/22/csa-wtf-2/

 

I have only begun to be working with the lung and the tummy herbs, although my experience dealing with my pain and sleep issues I have been working on for a while. I will work on maybe sharing my favorite combination of sleepytime herbs in tea form as soon as possible, either in sharing the recipe or selling bags of combination teas myself.

I am now making progress in making Aqua Medica aka medicine water, aka stronger tea infusions for both my family and I for our ailments. I will continue to try and document what works and what doesn’t. I have come to find that small doses of Lobelia for my husbands asthma has begun to help him more then his prescription abuteral inhaler.

20160521_183714

I am still working on making some constipation infusions for the family as well. This is only the start to a healthy herbal assisted life.

NaPoWriMo Day 6 “Food”

Definition of Food: Edible or potable substance (usually of animal or plant origin), consisting of nourishing and nutritive components such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, essential mineral and vitamins, which (when ingested and assimilated through digestion) sustains life, generates energy, and provides growth, maintenance, and health of the body.

But Food is so much more then that..

Food is life,

Food is confidence,

Food is substance,

Food is community,

Food is Love.

I love Food so much, that I dedicated a whole blog with the intent of always writing about food. I only recently started to write more creative writing and poetry, but I still made this website for food.

I never knew how much food would change me,

learning about farm to table from the farmers at the market,

and cooking and learning vegetables from the hands that grew them,

I am blessed to be educated about food from the farmers market, so I am forever endowed to the farmers in Sebastopol from the years 2010-2013, I love each and every one of them.

And the bakers, the cosmic cookie jar, if you ever read this; You inspired me to bake more. I was so addicted to your baked goods each week that now, I bake almost every weekend.

I love farmers markets now, and I have a new appreciation for all kinds of raw food and even farmers that make the food from the market.

I loved learning from the farmers each week and it inspires me to eat better now and more fresh. It even inspires me to get to know the farmers in my new neighborhood of Mendocino county.

I love Food so much that I cannot express the WORTH, it has made me feel, the confidence you get in the kitchen learning is the best confidence ever, and you get rewarded with food that you made yourself. I am self taught and I hate messing up, but with every mistake, I am learning how to cook and prepare food more.

Since only self teaching myself how to cook in 2 years, I have learned how to make the following things without a recipe book not in front of me; Muffins of any kind, biscuits-both yeast and soda kind, yeast bread,pizza dough, salsa, slow cooked meats, and even angel hair pasta.

Here is a photo of a regular pasta night aka tonights dinner prep;

making angel hair pasta
making angel hair pasta

I LOVE FOOD. sorry, but I do..

How do you feel about it?!

I am sorry this isn’t a poem….

 

Contrast aka my Dream Kitchen

As an artist, I am very familiar with contrast. I use contrast in my art all the time and make sure that all the colors are balanced in composition and contrast.

Here is a color wheel.

color wheel
color wheel

My favorite contrast colors are yellow and purple, I would love to have a yellow and purple kitchen.

My dream kitchen has yellow walls and purple cabinets, I found a few pictures of what I mean here…

bright-kitchen-cabinets-purple

Purple-and-Yellow-Kitchen Purple-Kitchen-interior-design-Contemporary-kitchen-design-2014-7 purple-and-yellow-kitchen (1)

Contrasting colors make things pop better, I love contrast.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/contrast-2/

If we were having coffee… Wk 1

Sitting down this Sunday afternoon, thinking about the weekend writing challenge. Also just realized that national poetry writing month aka NaPoWriMo, started this month. So I am eager to start some poetry for that as well. I am thinking the best way to approach this weekend coffee challenge is to be completely authentic and write a post as if I were writing a letter to my best friend (if I had one) or my mom, saying things that are a part of my life this week, in the form of a pen pal-ish letter. So here goes.

Dear Readers:

If we were having coffee today together, I would tell you all the things that I have been dealing with this week, I’ve had a crazy week, realizing some things and coming to some personal conclusions.

One being my happiness is only determined by myself, and no one is responsible for my happiness but myself; realizing the things that make me happy are truly simple, more simple then I would have ever thought.

Like honestly it just takes a few things to make me content in my home. I have begun to realize that all it takes is a clean kitchen to make me wanna create cooking creations, my favorite music playing to keep me motivated and the boys occupied with their own activities makes me inspired to be independent and do things for myself.

I guess I would have never realized how simple it is to be happy unless I stopped trying to be. Once attaining happiness isn’t in my forefront of thought, I have found it. It’s as simple as having all the ingredients to bake bread. It’s all in front of me, aka the tools for happiness, I just have to sit back and let them work.

Just like Yeast just needs the right temperature of water to work, I just need the right amount of things to stay happy. I have realized now that it’s not much work at all, and honestly I have no time to be depressed.

If I can stay motivated to stay busy and get things done, I really am too tired to take the time to over think and be depressed. I have begun to realize I have no reason to be depressed, and that most of the time that it sneaks up on me, are times that I leave my brain to be idle and think of things that aren’t true.

If you didn’t see the subtle connections to how I feel, I am going to bake some bread today. Sundays are for baking and I keep myself busy and happy by making good food. The only thing that sucks about my planned baking adventure is I have to clean the oven.

I have never cleaned an oven before, this cleaning adventure will probably test all my patience and push some depressive buttons, but I will try to prevail. Last week I attempted caramel without measuring and ended up with a bubbling overflowing caramel apple pie that seriously overflowed so much caramel unto the oven that it created a small fire, yea, that was fun, Not!

Opening the oven to let the smoke out, I realized the fire was happening on the bottom of the oven, and I truly panicked, but my husband chimed in and said to throw some flour on the flames to make them stop, so panic driven, I threw handfuls of flour on it and it stopped. I closed the oven door and tried to forget the disaster, but now that the baking bug has bit me again, I must clean it.

That is just a small preview of what I have been through this week, not including the school stress, and medication stress I have been going through; but since this is our first coffee talk I’ll spare you all that drama and stick with this ‘happiness’ bit.

So to get the conversation going,…what makes you happy? and how did you find out?

*later 6pm edit* holy wow, I recently updated to windows 10 and my husband just declared to try my new keyboard now that we updated my computer… it wasn’t working before, so I tried it and IT WORKS!! I finally have a keyboard again..yay!!! and yes my bread did turn out great. here’s some pictures…

my bread before cutting it...
my bread before cutting it…
first cuts of bread
first cuts of bread
slices with homemade whipped cream
slices with homemade whipped cream

Sing like no one can hear…

I was really hoping for a one word dailypost today that was bold or golucky or uninhibited, but FEARLESS, is just the same.

I am looking forward to writing about my singing.

Now most people that know me, have never heard me sing.

I do not sing in the shower, and I do not drive a car- so you cant catch me singing to the radio.

But if you want to catch me singing, just accompany me on my son and I’s walk to school in the morning.

 

Waking up at 7 am in the morning, normally doesn’t put me in a good mood,

getting him up and ready and out the door by 7:45, is a little stressful sometimes too,

but as soon as I step outside my door, and feel and see, where we live, in the morning light and radiance,

well I break into song.

 

I used to love the early am time during high school, waking up and leaving with the sunrise,

used to be one of my favorite things to do.

Now leaving in the morning,

with the forest ahead of me and the ocean behind me,

feels even more amazing.

 
Elijah and I have a few songs that we sing in these great mornings, and I am so happy to sing with my son,

breaking out in song, not caring how I sound, or who might hear me- well I say that’s FEARLESS.

here are our favorite jingles to sing, one we made up, and one from the ‘Beverly Hillbillys’,

“Gunna have a good day,

Hooray!

Sun’s out, Good day,

Hooray!

and even when the Sun’s not out,

were still gunna have a wonderful day!”

 

“This is the way to go to school,

go to school,

go to school,

go to school,

this is the way we go to school,

with a possum for the teacher!”

 

What do you do that’s Fearless?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fearless/

Cleaning out the Skeletons in my Closet

What have I been up to? What have I been doing? Why have I not blogged in a week? What have I been cooking and creating? What has occupied my mind so much that I haven’t the voice, the energy the motivation to blog anything in 7 days?

A whole darn lot actually. I have been cooking without blogging.. shame. I have been creative without writing about it..another shame. And I have been deep thinking without writing about it, even more shame on me as a writer..lol. But now I feel that I have the power to write again, that my brain finally is making sense of my life again, so that I can write cohesive words on a page.

I have been thinking about such deep things in my life, my artwork and my writing to be exact; and not my present work, my work from a child. I have been deep thinking about the juxtaposition to be attached to things that give us memories and the fact that we need to let go of things in order to learn from them and move on. I have been realizing in the last week that I need to let go of artwork, in order to make more artwork. That I need to part with my writing assignments from junior high school and earlier, in order to move on as a writer and to not live in clutter for the rest of my life.

I have begun to realize that teaching my family to let go of stuff will help us be better and help me have less anxiety about having too much clutter everywhere. Maybe our house isn’t as cluttered as I may think that it is, but when I think about the small space that we have to share as a family, I feel selfish to be taking so much of it storing old artwork and writing of mine. I have finally found the courage to dive into my ‘boxes’ as I call them. 3 large totes that we have moved around with for almost 9 years that carry all my artwork and past. I even have dragged around a portfolio or two since junior college. I cant seem to live with the idea of living with my ‘boxes’ anymore. I have finally come to terms with the idea of throwing some of my memories away. I have finally realized that no memories are going to be better then the ones that I am going to make with the little family that I have created for myself.

I went through a whole hell of a lot as a child and teen. I wrote and made artwork as a release from every thing that I went through each day. I was a very creative child and displayed amazing reading and writing skills since a young age. No certificate or GPA paper will be the one to truly tell me how smart I am, especially from elementary school. I have come to terms with finally letting go of all my ‘academic scores’, judgments made by schools and teachers to tell me how smart I am. I know I am smart. I now write daily, if not weekly fully cohesive articles for my self made website and self made brand. I may not have always had the best math scores, and my ‘papers’ show that, but now I budget and shop with food stamps, adding, subtracting discounts and tax in the store with no problem. Nobody can tell me now that I am not ok with practical math that we use in everyday life.

I also have come to realize that all the artwork, does not matter. That all the practice work from elementary and beyond, may be cool to have, to look at, but it is virtually useless work. I am only coming to this conclusion after semi completing my newest 3d artwork. I had the idea to make these figurines out of paper mache and cover them with the entirety of what was in the ‘boxes’ of my art past. And now that I have dug through 2/3 boxes of mine, I have come to realize that most of what is in them, doesn’t need to be kept whatsoever. I have a new life, different from when I was a teen, and holding on to relics of my past feelings and artwork seem untrue to who I am now; a changed learned woman/Boho mom. Who can do everything, most everything creative that she can think of.

I do realize that I am only this creative as a result from the projects and writing that is in the boxes, but I do finally have the guts to move on. For I am an accomplished artist and not one person but myself will ever know how much art I have really made in my life. There is no reason for me to leave my family with ‘boxes’ that they wouldn’t understand. So for this next week, I am going to try and clear my boxes. I may take some digital pictures of some of my work, but ultimately I am trying to either re purpose it all for new art like my figures or throw it away. I know it may be hard, as is parting with anything in life. But harder for me, since I have held on to these ‘feelings’ for so long.

My husband suggested keeping a few things from each year, maybe just keeping my favorites, but right now, I feel like purging it all. I do not want to regret throwing away my work, but I do not think that I will be applying for an art college anytime soon, lol, I am a mother now with a kindergartner to take care of. I first made my ‘portfolio’ for this reason, but now it seems silly to have boxes and folders of my work. If I ever wanted to prove to anyone that I am an artist, I can make something. I know this now, if you want a portrait, still life, a coloring book, a figurine, I know I can make them. I know what I am capable of without having mountains of artwork to prove it. I may have mixed feelings letting go, but honestly, I think letting go of my past; artwork, feelings and old writing will help me heal to have a better future.

I would love to hear what you all do with your ‘boxes’ of past things? Have you ever purged everything from your past, have you ever thought about it? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live without ‘baggage’ of previous feelings and creative endeavors? I am thinking that I will know this feeling soon, that I can finally move on from my past.

It may have taken 9 years sitting with my work but I am finally ready to do it, to purge my skeletons in the closet. I only wish that I still lived off grid and I could burn my skeletons in a backyard fire, and watch them turn to smoke so I can start anew with my life without even worrying about making more garbage for this earth to deal with. I will recycle all papers that I can, so hopefully my art will not make such a impact on the world, even after leaving my boxes.

I am finally ready to write again, finally realizing what I am going to do with my skeletons that I just realized I have been hoarding for no reason. Finally ready to start anew with this amazing life that I have come to have, and move on from my past. It feels really interesting to be so excited for my future, that feelings that I once thought are obsolete. It feels really surreal to be so happy with who I am now, to let go of who I was then. It feels so different to be feeling secure enough to let go of my work, but I am going to embrace that feeling for the sake of my family.

I will never be the old lady with an attic full of skeletons aka artwork that my son will have to sift through and get rid of. I am even going to teach him now how to sift through the artwork that he creates, so he never has ‘boxes’ like I have come to deal with. I am now going to start a family spring cleaning session every year where we purge all the creative art and papers, it will be good for our souls and house. So I am sorry everyone for not writing, I was dealing with those darn skeletons.

A Child’s Eye View

A child’s eye view

When we are children, we perceive the whole world as a vast huge thing. Everything is huge to us. I remember playgrounds as a child were wondrous places, finding enjoyment in the small spaces to hide in and play and the awesome child sized structures to play on, were my favorite things to do. Swinging around on the small child sized monkey bars were fun also. My son is now finding the same enjoyment as I did on the playgrounds, he loves playing in them.

Today he laughed so hard when I played with him on the playground before school started, hiding and running from him and using the play structures to hide. It just made me realize how “Big” I had gotten. As a child we all fit on the playground and as we begin to grow out of it, the world doesn’t get much bigger, only we do.

When we are children the world is huge, our possibilities for life are endless and we do not even perceive our own limits, because we are too young to set them for ourselves. Too young to think that we are unable to do anything. In fact when we are young we think that we can DO anything. And that is how it is supposed to be.

I have just realized that the world isn’t as big as it used to be when I was a child, the playground is smaller and I am a giant compared to the children. Growing up, we loose our perspective that the world is a vast place. Now that the world has gotten smaller for me; my son is perceiving it as vast and wonderful.

So another task that I have as a parent is not only is keeping my son unique. Its keeping this world beautiful and vast and wondrous for him, no matter how I see life, for as long as he has a child’s eye view, it will stay big for him.

In response to 9/23 DailyPost here:

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/night-and-day/

Most Rewarding Struggle…

I am a little late responding to yesterdays daily post topic, but I have been thinking about it since yesterday. I have also been fighting a cold, so doing anything at all is difficult.

Here is the topic for yesterday “Mountains and Valleys”

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/mountaintops-and-valleys/

For me the most ultimate struggle with a reward, would have to be having my son. Childbirth isn’t easy.

Granted I had a relatively easy birth with him, but it still hurt. If you are a mother, then you will know that the struggle of childbirth has the most amazing reward and satisfaction afterwards; you finally have your little child in your hands.

That is the most rewarding thing of any mothers life that she could ever experience.

Learning about yourself each and everyday that your child grows up.

I have learned infinite things about myself since he was born.